Welcome to the show, ladies. Today I'm interviewing Jessie Ritter. She is a transcriber. beautiful woman that I met at the Her Sacred Sexuality Retreat, who told me her birth story with her second child that she had as an unplanned home birth.
And you guys, this story just blew me out of the water. I said, I have to have you on my podcast. And so here she is ready to share her story of her unplanned, very fast home birth with her second child. Welcome to the show, Jessie. Thank you. Hello, everybody. I remember listening to about a thousand birth stories while I was pregnant and They were just so inspiring and helpful.
So it feels really cool to get to be one of those stories. Oh, I'm so glad. And your story is going to be such an encouragement to women because you had a hospital birth with your first, correct? Yes. And it didn't quite go the way you wanted. Tell us a little bit about that. Yeah. So I'll give you the quick version.
We have a really cool hospital here that is very, Rho natural birth, but it's still a hospital. So they have like their normal birth wing and they have something called the nesting area. And it's where you go if you want to have an unmedicated birth. And then the NICU is also right there. So it just felt like a really good middle ground, but.
It was so, I, I was very much under the impression that we were going to get to the hospital and they were going to leave us alone. And I think since I was there, they got a Bluetooth monitoring system. But I think they were advertising it and didn't quite have it ready yet when I gave birth. And so we got to the room and it was beautiful and they had a tub and a bed and a bathroom and a shower.
But I like wanted to be in the tub because I was freezing. And then I feel like every 30 minutes the nurses came in and wanted to put me on the bed and put the monitoring strap around my belly and Oh, really? Like put the whole strap, not just the Doppler. Yes, the whole strap. Every 30 minutes. Maybe it was every hour.
It felt, I have, I honestly don't know, but it felt constant. And so then I get out of the tub and I was freezing and I had to have a contraction on the bed with this thing wrapped around me. And then I was like, please get me back in the tub so I can warm up. And then you were like, wet, dry, get out, do this, wrap this thing.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, that's crazy. I thought we were gonna go and truly just do our own thing and it felt like somebody was always in the room. And it just, that's so hard. They were all kind, but it just was not. what I expected it to be. Yeah. Yeah. And just for those who might not know the, what she's describing is continual electronic fetal monitoring, where they put a strip around your belly and there's like a monitor on it and it's usually connected to wires.
So you're like hooked up to machines. It's monitoring your contractions continuously. Now the alternative that I usually recommend if you want to have an unmedicated and mobile labor, where you can move around is. Intermittent fetal monitoring. And that's when someone comes in your room with a little handheld Doppler and they listen to your baby's heartbeat.
And that's what you typically will have if you go to say a midwifery appointment, your midwife or doctor will check your, baby's heart tones using a Doppler. So they can do that in labor, and you can request it. You don't have to be hooked up to this. continuous electronic monitor machine, your whole labor, but that's so bizarre to me that they were coming in and doing that every 30, you know, 60 minutes.
Cause usually if they're going to come in, they're going to use a Doppler. And then they have the Bluetooth that just stays on and they don't have to come in and check and that has no wires. So those actually are really great too. I love those for women who need, if you need continuous monitoring, but you have the ability to move around and some of them even let you get in the tub or the water.
I still don't recommend continuous monitoring if you're low risk and you don't need it, because it can cause a lot of red flags. But quick overview for those who might be curious. Wait, which one should I get? Which one do I want? Depends on your situation. All the options. So So, they said, like, we will do intermittent monitoring, which I thought, great, but then when they did it intermittently, they hooked me up to all the straps and wires, and it was such a process every time, so.
That makes no sense. Their macgoppler must have been broken or something. I don't know. That's the only explanation. So, just make sure you're very clear on what the monitoring system is, because I It makes a big difference in your birth. For sure. I think it made all the difference. So yeah, especially when you're expecting something and that's not what happens, even though they promised that that can be such an annoying little thing that you're thinking about throughout your whole labor.
at the end of the day that birth, did it go well, what happened, like, how did you feel about it at the end? Yeah, so it was kind of just scary overall. And I had a doula for that birth, but her rule was I'll meet you at the hospital. She didn't want to come to our house. So I was very like alone in the first part of birth.
I, this is my first baby. I had no idea what was happening. And it was very, very painful contractions, very quick. It's like they started and they were two minutes apart and they were super intense. Wow. And I did that for 24 hours. 24 hours. Holy cow. I'm like, yeah. A epidural. Yes. I'm like gonna start crying.
It was horrible. Oh, so I was so committed and I should have been more flexible because I did not need to do that for that long. It just wasn't working. You're one of those women who are like, I'm, I have my goal. I am focused. I will accomplish it. Do not get in my way. I know. So it had just been so long and I was like at Like a seven or an eight for like eight hours and I just felt so stuck and I felt like nothing was working.
So then they ended up breaking my water and then it still wasn't moving. And so then I got an epidural. I took an hour and a half nap. I woke up and had a baby and it was fine. Yep, this is, this is one of those situations where the epidural can definitely come in handy. Yes, I'm so glad I did it. But it was just so long and so intense and then the birth, basically my OB was on the way to the hospital to do a c section because I had been where I was for so long and I think his heart wasn't doing great.
We want to get this baby out. And so the nurse came in with like the biggest, I don't know, like football coach attitude, like we are getting this baby out. You have 10 minutes until your doctor gets here. He better be born. Like, okay. Oh my gosh, that's so threatening. She's trying to probably help you and save you from a cesarean, but that's, holy cow, that's intense.
She was, she was trying to get me what I wanted, but it was so intense and so loud and so aggressive. And that is just not my style. And then She was so hands on. Oh, they had a, an OB who was at the hospital at the time who was actually there for his birth. My doctor I had been seeing didn't make it. And just like pans all up in there, baby shampoo, like just so hands on.
Like this is not what I wanted and they're like screaming at me to hold my breath and push and in my head I'm like, no you have to keep breathing and then they're yelling at me for breathing and Was born and he was fine and I didn't have to have a c section. I did not want to have surgery but It was not the peaceful, natural birth that I had hoped for.
Yes, and just in case of those of you who are wondering, don't worry, it gets better. The next story is completely redeeming. So for those of you who have had not great first birth experiences, this is something you want to keep listening to. Don't get scared away. Yes. And unfortunately, that's a very normal birth experience for a lot of women today that, you know, has interventions, it has Yelling and coached pushing.
It has, you get, maybe you get stalled or stuck, or you're obese, coming and threatening cesarean. If you don't get baby up by a certain time, like, these are all very typical stories, unfortunately today, but you got to the end of that and you must have realized, okay, I'm not doing that again, or I'm going to do this differently next time.
What changed for you after that birth? And how did you prepare for your second? Well, I found Karen. So I, and we know the end of the story. There you go. But I think the first thing that shifted was my mindset because I went into my first birth very confident that I could have a natural birth because women are strong.
We can do anything. There is no pain you couldn't endure two or three days. Which is true. And you certainly exemplified that. And that is true. Women are strong. We can do anything. Yeah. That is what happened. We were talking in the mom culture that, you know, there's even a quote by Penny Simpkin who says the greatest truth is not that birth is hard. It's that women are strong, right. And I'm like, what if it's not about strength? Yes. You're like, yes, that was exactly my mindset for my first. Yes. So I went from women are strong, I can do anything to this is going to be easy.
This is going to be peaceful. I don't have to be strong and everything changed. Yes. I love that mindset shift from women have to be strong. Women are strong. Women can do this. And of course, that's true. But if we didn't have that mindset that we had to be strong and endure, and we energetically showed up differently to labor, how much could that shift birth?
Yeah. Goosebumps. And honestly, that was a shift much bigger than the birth experience. I mean, that carried on to every other aspect of my life. Wow. And truly, this pregnancy was like the start of chapter two for me in like my whole adult life. I literally have goosebumps right now. And it was just awesome.
Talk about a redemptive birth. You created this shift in your mindset that said it doesn't have to be hard. That was so hard. I'm not doing, I don't want to have to have it be hard again. This can be easy. And then what did you do to prepare? So I took a Pain free birth, which was awesome.
And I read several books. You suggested Supernatural Childbirth. Yes, that was just beautiful. And it was the first time that I really believed, Oh, this is possible. Hmm. Like you see all those birth videos, but they have like the peaceful music over them and they're all cut and like, this is not real.
This is edited. We got the best 10 seconds. This was 12 hours of horribleness. And it was the first time I was reading and it's like, maybe it is real. Maybe it can be real. I read Ina May Gaskins book as well. Yeah. I love that one. So I felt very informed and confident in a different way than I did the first time, which was great.
And then just this whole body energy shift, really a lot of what you talk about. I remember you talking about dancing. That was just so big. And I remember I started dancing every night for about a month before she was born and moving. And there was lots of hip circles on the ball and there was lots of yoga.
I remember with my son, I did a really awesome, like, weight training prenatal program. And I loved it, but man, I, even that I want to be strong. I want to be ready. I want to have the strength to get through this. Yeah. And this time I didn't do that program again. I did just prenatal yoga. I actually found a studio in New York city, a prenatal yoga studio, and they do zoom classes that you can come to live.
And the teachers were fantastic. And so I just moved so much more and just the whole mindset of being open. Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful that you cultivated such a different experience for yourself, like, not just in your mindset, but in your language in your movement that you you did with your body in your workouts, like just such a different experience.
Experience that you're leading into. I love that. Yeah. So there was education. There was movement. I remember hearing in my first birth about drinking red raspberry tea and eating all these dates. I did not do that the first time. Like, this is gross. I don't want to do this. This time. The second time I was like, I will do anything.
So I was down in the raspberry tea. I was eating all the dates. I have no idea if it made a difference or not. But well, it sounds like it did based on your birth. And then visualization was the other part. So that was huge. And I remember that that's part of your course.
That was one of the activities you said, visualize your birth and any part of the story that you get scared or stuck on, rewrite what it looks like. Yeah. And so I just imagine this really peaceful labor at home, easy contractions and then Every time it was time to get in the car and go to the hospital, I just stopped.
The story stopped because I wanted to have a home birth for my second. I was, did not want to go back to the hospital because it just wasn't as. peaceful and natural as I'd hoped it would be. And my husband was not on board. He said, we were there. You needed all the interventions. We needed to be there. I was like, but what if we weren't there and I wouldn't have needed it.
And he was just not getting on board. So that's so hard. Our plan was to do the same thing. And I was a little more confident going to the hospital because I thought their monitoring system was going to be better this time, less invasive, but I still didn't want to go. And so every time I told myself the birth story in my head, I got to, and then it's time to go to the hospital, but what if we don't make it and she's just born in 10 minutes?
And that was exactly what happened. So the power of visualization, I am telling you, I just cannot believe that it happened exactly like I imagined. And I told myself this story. every day. Are you kidding me? Like you visualize and told yourself the story of your birth where you're getting ready to go to the hospital.
You didn't make it and she was born at home and that literally happened. Yes. My husband says I tricked him. He's like, you are going to have your home birth no matter what. It really wasn't intentional. I didn't plan on staying home and not making it, but subconsciously I probably did. Because you even joke around with your midwife like she was like, I feel like we're not gonna make it in time the way I didn't have a midwife.
Oh, right, cuz you're going to the hospital. I mean, I didn't have anyone I had hired a doula. And so I had been texting her all day. But she didn't make it. It was just me and my husband. So I guess maybe I should start at actual labor.
You said it was like a half hour birth. Kind of. So I have to say this whole thing was supernatural. She was due on Saturday, and she was born on a Wednesday before, but I knew that because my son had been telling me for two weeks, she's gonna come Wednesday, she'll be here Wednesday. Just so confidently, and I'm like, I think he just knows.
Yeah. All the way to when we were picking her name, we're like, should she be named? Joy, should she be named Rose? He didn't really say anything. Should we name her Ava? He goes, Oh, yes, she's Ava. Like almost in a, he remembered her. Wow. Wow. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but I just feel like they were connected.
So it's like, he already knew what her name was. And then he told me she'll be born Wednesday. It's like, okay, she'll be born Wednesday. So Wednesday morning at about 4 a. m., I started having contractions, but they were so easy, so easy to breathe through, not painful, just. Just a feeling just like a tight like wraparound hug feeling and then it was gone And they were like 20 minutes apart.
So with my first birthday, we're super close super strong right at the beginning Part of me thought okay. This is nothing we're gonna do this for four days Because they were 20 minutes apart and easy All day long. Wow. And you're like, well, this is not what labor is supposed to feel like. Yeah. Or maybe it is.
Or maybe it is. Yeah. Like what? Yeah, that's so funny. It was so different. So it's not painful. It's every 20 minutes. Not painful. Not close together. I was still taking care of my son, making him lunch. We had like finished meal prepping. It was just a very normal day. And every 20 minutes I just paused and took a deep breath.
but it had been like that kind of all day. So around five o'clock my son went to play with my mom and my husband and I took a walk. We live right by the water. So we walked to the boat launch and it's about half a mile from the house. It was such a beautiful date, I guess. It was so wonderful to have this moment with him before she was born.
I will look back on that as just such a beautiful little walk together. So we went all the way to the boat launch about half a mile on the way back. I can. Looking back, I can tell the contraction started getting more intense because I was like, I just like squat down on the side of the road and then stand up and I was breathing deeper, but still nothing that felt painful.
It's like, okay, something's happening, but we're fine. So we get home, we make this steak dinner, steak and baked potatoes and baked dinner. I didn't think anything of it. And my son's here and we're all having dinner together. My sister in law comes over with like a couple gifts and I'm just sitting on the birth ball.
Totally fine. And then we were at the table and I started feeling like I had to vocalize. So I was just like, Oh, and my son was totally freaked out. I was like, I still feel fine, but I can tell I need to do something that he doesn't know what's happening. It's like, so I'm going to go lay down in our bedroom.
You guys just do your thing. I'm fine. So I went and I laid down and then. I could tell it was changing just a little bit still not painful, but I could tell they were stronger and I had three that were five minutes apart. So I had been texting my doula all day like stuff's happening, but it's no big deal.
We're totally fine having a normal day. And then I texted her and I said, Hey, I had. Three contractions, they're five minutes apart. Maybe we should think about going to the hospital soon. I'm still fine, but. And that's typically normal when they're like three to five minutes apart. You know, they say you want to go to the hospital.
And of course, nobody's birth follows like a perfectly linear trajectory. But that's a general rule of thumb. So you're thinking, OK, things are getting intense. It might be time to head in. So I had those three contractions, literally just those three. I texted her and the fourth one, my water broke and I screamed.
That one was painful, but it was, oh my gosh, but it was everything. It was, it was the whole labor in one contraction. I heard a pop. I felt her move down. I mean, I could feel everything and it was so clear like she was here. She was ready, but she's up here and now she's down here. Yes, it was just.
Everything in one contraction. Of course I'm a super neat freak. So there was, I was like out of bed on the toilet in about half a second. I am not dealing with this. Yes. So all of a sudden I'm in the bathroom, like water breaks, mostly contained. It was great. And like, Oh my gosh, I think like, that was so.
obvious. And it was really nice because in my first birth, I never knew what was happening. Nothing felt clear and that could not have been more clear. Heard a pop, felt her move, we are here. And so know, okay, she's coming, this is imminent? Or what, what were you thinking? Because you've been visualizing this birth that turns into an accidental home birth.
Hope kind of like subconsciously priming your brain for this experience. Were you like, oh, this is gonna happen? Or was that not really on your mind? So I had two thoughts. Either she's coming right now. Or I'm going to be in intense labor for 24 hours again, and there's no way I'm doing this. Wow. Yeah, because how would you know?
It was very intense, but that was what it felt like the whole time with my son and I just thought I have to get to the hospital because I am not doing this again for 24 hours, right? But then I also thought this is different. I think what if she comes right away happening? Yeah, it's like almost a new whole new birth experience.
Yeah, it was so new. So I remember I, I'm so glad I watched all these birth videos because my mind is not working at this point. I'm very much in labor land, but instinctively I had, seen so much. I just had in my head what to do. I was like my own doula. So I turned around backwards on the toilet and I had maybe three contractions there and they were so intense.
And at that point I'm still by myself. My husband is like outside the house. So I'm like, I am so proud of you right now. Like I want to just cheer you on. That is awesome. Thank you. I'm just like, I know I'm okay, but also I would really like somebody here with me. So I am like screaming as loud as I can because I know there's no way I can walk outside.
I'm hoping he can hear me and be like, Oh, what's that? Maybe I should go check on her. So eventually he comes inside. And I just, I remember this position was so helpful. I'm sitting backwards on the toilet and he cams and he stands behind me and I put my hands on his shoulders and like pulled up. Yeah.
And I know some places have like a birth bar or stuff like that, but I, I just pulled up on his shoulders behind me and it. It was the only thing that felt good. in that contraction. And mind you, these are like three contractions I had on the toilet like this. And, that is a great position to birth in.
Anything where you're pulling up and like releasing down. Mm hmm. I feel like your body just goes like and releases. And in that it's something about the mechanics of that position are just so powerful for like, letting baby just descend. So I love that you intuitively did that. And your husband was obviously a strong guy to be able to just kind of like, hold you there.
Yes. And then he says, Okay, I'm going to pack a bag, we're going to go to the hospital. I'm like, no, we are not. He's like, yes, we have to go to the hospital. Like, there is no way I am getting in a car right now. Oh my gosh. And so he still like runs outside and puts a bag in the car. And then I'm screaming at him again.
I'm like, you have to stay in here. He's like, I have to check on Silas. I'm like, he's fine. He's not gonna run away in the next five minutes. You're like, this baby's coming now. I know. So he still goes outside in the living room and puts on Mickey Mouse, turns the TV up as loud as it goes. So my son's just on the couch with Mickey Mouse blaring, I'm in the bathroom.
He comes back and I'm still sitting there. He's like, that's her head. She is actually coming right now. I'm like, oh, well, thanks. I'm glad I convinced you. Like you can see her head as you're sitting on the toilet backwards. So then he says, you have to get in the tub. I was like, I don't think I can move.
So he just picked me up and put me in the tub. And I'm so glad he did because we were not prepared for a home birth in any way. So he, he put me in the tub. He ran like six inches of warm water. And I think my stepdad showed up and at, in the next couple of minutes and is sitting with my son and my mom's on the way because he had called him.
This is still only like five minutes that I'm talking about here from water breaking to where we are. is very quick. So like water breaks, you dash to the toilet, you get on the toilet backwards, you have a few contractions, you scream for your husband to come, he comes, turns on Mickey Mouse, he comes back, puts you in the tub.
This is all like five minutes. Yes. And then I'm in the tub and he says, okay, get on your back. And I said, I will not be doing that. And he listened, it was so great. Cause he was just trying to help from what he knew is normal. And I knew what I wanted. So I got on my hands and knees and he got in the tub behind me and.
It was so wonderful. He just like her head was already there. So he just like put his hand on her head, just like supporting her. And I want to say I pushed, but. It wasn't an active push. I think it was the fetal ejection reflex because there was nothing in my head that said push now and I don't remember like working to get her out.
It was just like a contraction and she came out halfway. So her head is out. Maybe one of her shoulders is out. I, I don't really know. And then I said, don't pull on her. Just wait, don't move. So he just held her little head. I just didn't move. I just took a breath. And then, I don't know, 15 seconds later, another contraction came and she came out.
Wow. He caught her in the tub. And he caught her and handed her right to me. It was so beautiful. beautiful because he was so calm once he stayed in the room with me. He was so calm and did so good and just did exactly what I asked. You know, can you imagine being in the hospital? Please don't pull on her.
Please don't touch her. And you don't know if they're going to listen. Yeah. He just held her little head and And he was so calm when this was incredibly not what he wanted. And then also, because I'd had an epidural, I didn't feel my son being born. So that was the part I was most nervous about was this infamous ring of fire.
I didn't feel anything like that. There was no pain in pushing her out. If there was any pain, it was those like four contractions from water breaking to her being born because they were just so strong, but not any kind of scary pain. And then her being born just felt good, felt like such a relief, just crazy.
It sounds like, it sounds like it happened so quickly. And normally in a really fast, precipitous birth like that, it feels, it's like, chaotic or even traumatic for women. But it sounds like you did so much preparation and visualization to prepare your heart for that exact experience. Yeah, maybe guided by Holy Spirit, I'm pretty sure, or, you know, God, it was in that mix.
And so it was like your heart knew, like subconsciously, your whole body was in alignment, your heart, your spirit, your soul. And so when it happened that way, The way you're describing it, even though it was so fast and so intense in those final moments, it sounds like it was also so peaceful and so meant to be.
It was so peaceful. Yeah, it was these easy, easy contractions at like four in the morning. Five o'clock, we went for this walk. They picked up a little bit. It was 745 when my water broke and she was born at 8 p. m. Wow. It was just, It was so easy. So peaceful. And then she was just here. It was incredible. And your body just pushed her out.
No theatrics, no intense pushing. No, and they were coaching you to push with your first. How long were you pushing for? Man, that. All seems like a blur, but it can't have been long, maybe five or 10 minutes, but I really don't know. And that's part of the, pain of my first birth is I just can't remember.
It was just this haze of pain and confusion and where are we and why are these nurses back and what's happening now and what pain medicine did you just give me? Like I just can't remember much. And then with her. Everything is so clear. Mm, yeah. My body felt everything so clearly and I can remember and it just it was so peaceful Truly truly redemptive.
Oh what was it? Like after she was born? Did you call 9 1 1 like risk was your husband freaking out? Like what was postpartum like when you have an accidental home birth? It was really funny because I I feel like I had watched so many of these videos. I felt so confident in being The birth and then let me just say like, I love that, that you felt so confident in what your body was doing.
And you weren't like, Oh my gosh, what do we do? We need somebody. We need emergency. Call 911. Like the fact that you just knew, like, this is so natural and my buddy knows exactly what to do. Like, to me, that is like the greatest win, like, as someone who took my course to just have that kind of confidence to be able to birth at home with nobody around but your husband.
And now like. I got this, babe. My body knows what to do. Like, I have done my job. It was incredible. You did your job. You did your job. Thank you. I mean, it was incredible. It was truly so intuitive. And then there was this moment where just sitting there in the tub with this Baby girl in our arms. And I was like, Oh, wait, what do I do now?
So my mom and my stepdad were staying in our neighborhood, literally right around the corner. So maybe it only took them five minutes to get over. But between the time my husband called and they showed up. She was already born, which I'm so glad because my mother is a neonatologist. So she takes, yes. So if you don't know what a neonatologist is, She she takes care of premature and super sick babies.
She works in the NICU and she's been to a ton of births. So had she actually been there, my husband would have totally taken the back seat and let her do That's pretty cool. what she has seen. And I'm so glad we had that birth moment. Just us. And then I was so glad my physician mother showed up to say, this baby looks normal.
She has a great Apgar score. The I burned the placenta really easy. It was like two more no big deal contractions, but it was nice to have her like be able to look at it and say this looks like a whole placenta. I think you're okay. Yeah, she kind of was your midwife in a sense. Yes. And then our doula got there, you know, after her.
Maybe another 10 minutes after Ava was born and she's like, well, this was the easiest birth I've ever been to
Yes She suggested that we go to the hospital because we didn't have a midwife just for like birth Certificate purposes and just to have somebody put an eye on us who knew What they were looking at, which was fine. I would have loved to have not gone to the hospital. We got there probably at nine o'clock or 10 o'clock at night.
And we were out by noon the next day, not a great experience. She told us to bring the placenta so that they. Could see that it was intact. So they didn't have any question about it. They like lost it the minute we got to the emergency room. I have no idea what happened. I wasn't going to eat it or anything, but I was seriously thinking about planting a tree or something.
An organ. Okay, great. Just, I mean, we're there for like minutes and we're still in this like you know, she's in this beach towel that we had wrapped her up. like we haven't cleaned her up or anything and we're there for a long time before we get, I have to ask for a clean blanket, like, I don't know, it just felt not very on top of things.
Yeah. Yeah. But again, this is my, my disappointment of a hospital, but if that was the worst part of our birth story, I'm very, very happy and we got to come home really fast and then it was just beautiful. Oh my gosh. So what were your takeaways from this birth? Oh my gosh. Visualize what you want. Be careful what you wish for.
Be careful what you wish for. It might happen exactly like you planned. Like talk about, when you told me this story, I was like, holy cow, talk about the power of visualization. And this is why I have all my students. in the course do this exercise because it's so powerful. But what an incredibly perfect example of literally it working out exactly the way you visualize, not even intentionally, but just like You knew, your spirit knew exactly what you needed, your baby needed this birth, you needed this birth for your heart, and the fact that it happened, and that that, that our brains are, our minds are so powerful to create reality, and we think that labor just happens to us, we think like, We're just at the whim of whatever deck of cards we get dealt.
And obviously there are lots of things within birth and labor we can't control, but the amount of power we have as women to visualize and imagine our birth and create our reality, like your story is such a beautiful example of doing that, but I just, I love it so much. Thank you. Yeah, it was incredible.
So the power of visualization protect your peace. I am a huge advocate of the first 40 days. Yeah, I did not do a thing for a month after she was born. Yes, it was beautiful. And as it should be. Again, first birth, we had the grandmas coming in town and people coming over and, oh, let's go out to lunch two weeks after he's born.
And also with him, I had mastitis and like 103 degree fever and like just could not admit how sick I was. It was awful. And then with her, I felt great. I was not gonna concede to doing anything and I, I protected that and I think it was so helpful. We watched Daisy Jones and the Six and cuddled all day long for weeks.
Yes. That makes my heart so happy. Yeah. It was just great. Breastfeeding was a breeze. I mean, just everything, everything was peaceful, but it all started in the pregnancy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Do you notice a difference in your kid's temperament, having completely different pregnancy and birth experiences?
Yes. And that is where the guilt sits in with me, which I'm still working on that. But yes, my son is anxious. He has very severe eczema. He is just anxious. Moody, but he has been since day one. Breastfeeding was hard, he never slept. I mean, he is three years old and just started sleeping through the night.
And it's, it's been a challenge. He's brilliant and he's funny and he's wonderful, but he has been sad and anxious and the eczema has been huge. And man, my daughter is as calm as they come, hasn't been sick once. Breastfeeding was a breeze, like completely different. And I know every kid is different and I don't want to like put it all on one thing, but I mean, it started hard and it has been hard.
And that's not your fault. Yeah. We talked about this and I, I just empathize with you so much. And so other women that tell me very, very similar stories of having really hard or traumatic or highly intervention, you know, first hospital births and then struggling with their, with the similar, very similar health conditions or, you know, You know, you, you fill in the blank, like it's all different, but I think, I mean, we don't talk about it, and I certainly don't want to talk about it in a way that puts guilt or shame on moms, because we only, we all do what we know is best, we, we do the best we can with what we know, and most of us don't know, we just don't know what the reality is, when we make decisions, and when we put ourselves in the care of people who think they're, we think they're helping us, we think they're guiding us, we think that they're the experts, and then they, Yank our babies out and they give us drugs and they create an environment of stress and fear.
And we just don't realize as I think as a society, not just moms, but as a society, we don't realize how the birth experience imprints on babies and that they're having a human experience and that that fear, that anxiety, that trauma, those interventions, that separation between mom and baby impacts because they are.
conscious, they are awake, alive, they are having their first, I mean, not their first human experience, because I believe even in the room, they're having human experiences, they're feeling our fears and our, our concerns and our joy and bathed in our hormones, but how much more in the labor process, going through such an intense physical transition.
I asked that I and I, I so honor just your vulnerability in sharing this and in Acknowledging, like, that yeah, there's still guilt there. And I, even though as hard as that is, I want women to hear how much it matters. Like, that there's women listening to this that haven't considered this.
Haven't considered how greatly the choices they make in pregnancy and for their birth will or can impact their lives. Their babies. And I think it's an important conversation to have because so, so many women just like you were like, I didn't know nobody told me. I had no idea that this was what happened.
And I thought I knew I took a birth course I was ready to go in the natural wing of the hospital like I made the playlist like I thought I was set up, and it just did not go as planned at all. And. I have to remind myself that like I did the best I could with the tools I had and I searched for tools, but man, it did not go.
And so now that my daughter is a year old and I'm kind of out of this newborn haze, I feel like this next, I don't know, area of growth, maybe that I want to put energy into is. Figuring out how to like, I don't know, apologize to my son or make it up to him or just work through some of this trauma with him because when I think about his birth, I can feel it all over my body.
I mean, it was 24 hours of intense pain, like, Yeah, that is trauma and I can feel it. And man, if that's what I was feeling and that's the reaction I have remembering it, I can only imagine what that was like for him feeling those same contractions for so long. Yeah. Your body keeps the score.
Yeah, absolutely. Like, and the fact that you can imagine that right away. it, it shows like your body's still carrying it somatically and his body is probably carrying it somatically. Just as a thank you for coming on this show, I want to, give you my healing birth trauma course, because that's exactly why I created that course is for women just like you, who.
have this experience and they know like I am carrying trauma in my body from a birth experience and even it doesn't have to be birth it could be sexual abuse it could be some other traumatic thing that happened that you just know like my body is carrying this and I need to release it and I I am so passionate about helping women find freedom.
And I know that like, not just for our own bodies, and our freedom, but also our children, because when we discover freedom, there's an energetic connection to our babies. And even without, like, going through and doing a bunch of Stuff they they will get like the reverberal effects of your freedom and release of that trauma and they will feel that impact their body too.
And then I include like prayers and declarations that you can speak over them to intentionally help them release their trauma because babies will tell the story of their trauma through colic, eczema, crying. You know, neediness attack, like irritability, anxiety, like babies tell the story and we just label it colic, we just label it, you know, digestive issues, but like they're telling the story of their trauma and when we let them tell it and then we create that security and attachment for them and actually recreate the attachment they didn't get through that.
birth experience, it just breaks off the anxiety and the trauma. And we see babies heal. We see health conditions reverse. And so I have such a heart for mamas because I, I feel like the enemy is, has, is just so intent on attacking this process, this birth experiences. And And if he can get moms and babies when they're young, when they're vulnerable, when they're going through this transition of birth and into motherhood, and if he can attack them young and create fear and insecurity and doubt and disrupt this really sacred attachment moms and babies are meant to have, you know, he's trying to disrupt, you know, our lives, our childhoods, our, our beginning as mothers and when, but, but the truth is that we can heal it, we can release it and it's whatever happened.
in those birth experiences that are traumatic are not set in stone. You know, our minds are so pliable, are so malleable. They, the neuroplasticity of our brains to hold memory and release memory and change and rewire is so brilliant. And God knows how to heal it. And there's nothing that's happened, whether that's you or anyone listening, that is set in stone.
that can't be healed by God. So I want to give you that course and anyone else who's interested, I'll put the link for it in my show notes, because I'm so passionate about helping women heal and redeem their birth experiences, even the ones that, that were painful and hard and traumatic. And, and I believe God is doing an amazing work and I've heard so many stories of women just finding healing and freedom in that.
So That sounds incredible, man. Talk about the enemy attacking a moment. I mean, we don't have like, coming of age experiences in our culture. Like I feel like maybe traditionally we used to like what going to college, I don't know. But this moment of birth is such a transformation when a girl becomes. A woman, not that you have to have a baby to become a fully embodied woman, but it is a transition like no other.
Yeah. It's like the maiden to becoming a mother. Yes. And of course, the enemy is going to want to get into that moment. And I think, no, I know in my first pregnancy, there was a part of my head that truly believed it. Yeah. There's part of you that is evil and you deserve to have a painful birth Wow Women this is our Curse and you are not perfect and this is how you're going to pay for it because of I don't know the fall and everything and it's just so unhelpful and just can't be true and but even though maybe my brain knew it wasn't totally true my subconscious was not convinced yet.
And I think that also played a part in my first pregnancy. Yeah. Holy cow. Wow. Absolutely. Like the, that's a remarkable that, that you knew probably not even consciously, but subconsciously like this is my cross to bear. This is my burden to bear. I'm a woman. It's supposed to be painful. And that, that played out.
in your labor with your first of these excruciating contractions. And then we just repeat the story in society. We tell other women our birth stories and we tell other women how painful it is. And it just becomes this cultural norm. This is what childbirth is and how Like, again, another testament to how powerful your brain, mind is.
Yeah. And I think you even talked about that a little bit. That this pain in childbirth, maybe it isn't pain, maybe it's sorrow. Maybe it's the pain of being exposed to an imperfect world. Yeah, I might not be getting that totally right, but yeah, well, the translation, you know, when it says that, that, you know, in that, that story, and I, I feel like I need a whole podcast episode on this because it's one of the most common questions I get because women always obviously ask like, well, what about it says in the Bible, it's supposed to be painful and Eve was cursed and, and there's a lot of, you know, pieces to that story that we misunderstand because First of all, God never cursed Eve.
He didn't curse her body. He cursed the ground and he cursed the serpent, but he never cursed Adam and Eve directly. And secondly, the word used there for pain, when it describes like you will have pain in childbirth, it does say that, but it's a poor translation. That word, Asab, in the original, is not translated pain anywhere else in scripture and it's used several other times.
It's almost always translated grief or sorrow or toil. In fact, they use it in the very next verse where it says that Adam will toil the ground. It's the same word, but the translators chose toil for the man and pain For the woman, just because of bias, just because of, well, they did, you know, like it's, and, and we need to know, like, the translation is not inspired.
The original like words are inspired, but we have to always be conscious of how are things being translated based on modern day culture or the translators. culture of that time. And what's it, where the original intentions of those words, what's the historical context, what's the language context. So there's so much depth to those scriptures.
And we, as a culture have, twisted them and then put this like diagnosis on women that you have to have pain in childbirth, which is not actually what. It says, and so I believe it really has more just to do with, yes, it is hard. We are born into a world that has fallen, that is, that is still broken.
The world around us is still very much broken and in pain and there is suffering and there is evil and suffering and it. We are redeemed by the blood of Christ, and we are not, as a, as a woman, I am not under the curse. As a woman, my body is not cursed, and that's the differentiator here. It's like, yes, we live in a world that has sickness and pain and suffering, and when we renew our minds in Christ, and we realize the truth of who we're created to be, I am not broken.
I am redeemed. He has set me free in Christ and I no longer live under the curse and I live above. He says, we're seated in heavenly places. We are not subject to the natural laws of this earth. We are citizens of heaven. And it's a full mindset shift. It's not just, Oh, Jesus broke every curse. Yes, he did.
But that curse that happened in Adam and Eve, that reality is still our reality on earth, but we are not subject to it. We are called to live above the laws of the curse on the earth. And it's in the world around us. But as Christians, we are called to bring heaven to earth. And that's the greater reality I connect to.
So it's not just as simple as, you know, Amen. Jesus broke the curse, right? It's like, yes, but the, the, the earth is still suffering, but we are called as heavenly creatures. We are called as citizens of heaven. We are not cursed as a woman. I am free and I reign in life. And that is the truth I embody, which means my body is created in God's image.
I am not under any curse from the garden. This is I am redeemed. And so that's that's my perspective. I've learned and grown so much in this and even in how I teach it and I used to You know, aligned with the, people who just said, Oh yeah, Jesus broke the curse. And then I'd see women who are not even Christians who have completely different belief systems have pain free births.
And I'm like, it's more than that. There's, there's, there's an awakening, this like a revelation happening in women to realize like, that's a lie. Like I am not cursed. And when we can break that off, like, just like you did going from believing that Oh, childbirth is supposed to be painful, and my body is cursed, and this is my, my burden to bear, and literally having 24 hours of intensely painful contractions to, no, childbirth can be easy, childbirth can be quick and painless, and experiencing both of those realities.
The Holy Cow, like the power we have as women to create our reality with Christ, it's, what a beautiful story. Thank you. Thank you for sharing, because it's such an incredible testimony, and I hope so many women are encouraged by it. Yeah, I hope so too. Thank you for giving me the language to think this way, and man, girls, just believe you are incredible, and believe in peace, because it is possible.
Even if your husband wants to take you to the hospital, you can do whatever you want! Just dream it, and it will be!
Amen, what a beautiful place to land. Thank you ladies for listening. And I'll put your contacts in the show notes anyone who wants to reach out to you directly. What's your Instagram or, or what's the best way for women to get in touch with you? Yeah, I'm super active on Instagram. It's jessie. l.
ritter. J E S S I E. L. R I T T E R. I'm actually a musician, so most of what you see there is going to be shows and music. I'm on Spotify. But I'm mostly a mom, so you'll see a lot of pictures of my very pretty kiddos, too. Amazing. Reach out to Jessie, contact her, tell her how this podcast impacted you. Tell me how this podcast impacted you.
Leave us a five star review if this inspired you at all. We, we don't promote things on this show. I, I just do this as a gift to you because I truly want to impact the world. And change the culture of birth. And so if this has inspired you or impacted you, please, I would just love it. If you took a minute and wrote us a quick review, that would mean so much to me to just reciprocate that generosity.
You guys mean the world to me. I love being able to show up here every week and deliver and inspire because I know how much these birth stories have impacted me. That Jesse is here because she was impacted by them. And so that is, that is the, the, the heart in which we come. And so thank you everyone for supporting, for listening, for sharing, for sharing on your social media and for rating.
We just love you and we will see you guys next week.
