EP 30
===
KAREN: Welcome back mamas I'm so excited to be joined today by Whitney Baggett, who is an awesome mother. We shared her birth story on my account a little while ago. You may remember it. She had some incredible photos of this beautiful hospital birth as a first time mom. Mostly without pain and just so empowering and beautiful.
She's also a singer and a songwriter and how she incorporated the songs and music into her birth are just so sweet and beautiful. And I'm really excited for you guys to hear such an empowering hospital birth story. So, Whitney, welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. Very.
WHITNEY: Grateful.
KAREN: Yeah. Oh, me too.
I'm glad to have you. And tell us like, what was your mentality going into birth as a first time mom and what did you do to prepare?
WHITNEY: So I was very scared as a first time mom. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared of sort of all of it, the birth, having a baby, raising a baby. I mean, I just didn't know anything about Being a mother.
So it was all quite scary for me. And I figured the first thing I should focus on was the birth. And so I just started studying for it. Kind of like the way you would for a test. Like, I'm just like, I want to learn what is birth like and I'm going to learn everything I can about it. So that's what I did.
I talked to friends and family and listened to audiobooks. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth was super helpful to me. I listened to that one multiple times probably, and I would go back and re listen to chapters. I also listened to like another hypnobirthing book. That was nice. I wouldn't say it was as helpful, but it was nice.
And and then Your, the pain free birth social media accounts. I would read everything you wrote and watch all the videos you shared. And same with Christian Hypnobirthing. I actually got their app. And so I would listen to their tracks that were very calming and soothing. And followed all their social accounts too.
And YouTube as well. I would watch a lot of YouTube. Other women's births on YouTube. Yeah,
KAREN: that's awesome. And that's so smart to do, to just fill your spirit with positive stories. And, you know, stories of women that make you believe that you can do this too. Yeah, exactly. What, what, how did that change your mindset going into labor?
WHITNEY: Well, that was exactly it. I mean, I would see all these other women doing it naturally and I thought, you know, if they can, so can I. I didn't really, it's interesting because I had no real intentions of having a natural birth. Like before I got pregnant, it was more of a, almost like I felt called to once I got pregnant.
It was really strange. Like I felt very sort of, you know. Just driven to have a natural birth. I actually felt driven to have a water birth. So that's sort of how the whole thing started. I was looking around for hospitals where I could have a water birth and unfortunately in Raleigh, North Carolina, where I live, there's Not any.
So then I thought, well, and we don't have any birth centers right now either. So then I thought, well, maybe I'll try a home birth and I could, you know, use my own bathtub, but then I couldn't find any midwives in the area who would do that. So then I thought, well, my next best option is to pretend I'm having a water birth and stay at home in my bathtub as long as I can, and then just go to the hospital and meet the midwife there for delivery.
And that's what ended up happening.
KAREN: Oh, that's awesome. So you stayed home as long as possible. It sounds like what was that like at home in labor? Did you feel good? Did you feel prepared
WHITNEY: yes. So I actually, I thought for sure that I was going to, for some reason, I had it in my head, she's going to come the 39th week. I just had that in my head and I was like, so sure of it. I felt it in my gut. And then 39 week came and went. 40th week came and by that time I was just tired of like waiting for it.
And I was like, you know what, I'm going to stop. We've all been there. Yeah. Like, you know, I just need to stop like thinking of this. I'm going to just, maybe I'll never, you know, You know, maybe I'll never go into labor. That's sort of the mindset I got. So like any little signs I would have of that labor was coming, I just sort of ignore them because I was tired of getting my hopes up and thinking that it was coming.
So on Sunday which is the day before her birth, when the contractions started they actually started in my back, so it sort of was like it was more like a back cramp, kind of, that would like radiate around towards my front. And that sort of threw me off too because I wasn't really sure whether it was back cramps or what was going on.
But I did notice that there was a pattern to these sensations, I would call them, in my back. And so I sort of had an inkling, this was probably like Sunday afternoon. Well, they just kind of continued throughout the afternoon. Then I went for a walk with my husband and dog and they still were kind of continuing.
I even had to like grab on to my husband at one point. I'm like, Oh, you know, that one got me. And so it went on like that and they kept coming through dinner. And it wasn't painful really. It's kind of like a little like cramp, just sort of like an interesting sensation, like a back, a backache, back cramp, whatnot.
So then I texted the doula, you know, just to let her know, I'm not sure if this is labor or not, but I've been having these and, you know, they're coming every five or 10 minutes. And we were actually using this app to time the contractions, just out of curiosity and it was. One of those apps, I mean, it was telling me on Sunday afternoon, time to go to the hospital, pack your bags, because it was timing them and they were coming every five minutes.
But when I text the doula, she's like, you know, it sounds like something's happening and that's exciting. But, you know, I would just go to bed, try to go to bed early and, you know, get some rest.
KAREN: Were you in denial? You were really in labor then a little bit?
Yeah,
WHITNEY: exactly. Yeah, I did not think that I was definitely in labor. I really didn't know what was going on. Did they feel painful
KAREN: at
WHITNEY: all? I wouldn't say painful, no. I mean again, it was kind of, it was more like a back cramp, sort of. It was enough to sort of like pause you, like, oh, and then. Yeah. You just keep going about, Oh, I feel it again.
And then you keep going. It was like that. It wasn't. Yeah. I wouldn't say it. It's like early labor. Yeah. Yep. And so I went to bed. We went to bed early. Our doula was like, you know, go, go ahead and go to bed. Try to get some rest. When I laid down, they got a bit more intense. And so as I was Trying to sleep.
I wouldn't call it sleeping. I did kind of sleep that night, but they basically continued like that throughout the night and they kind of got more intense.
KAREN: Yeah.
WHITNEY: So I had a a heating pad that I was using on my back. And at first I was waking up my husband each time so he could do the little hip presses against me because it felt good when he would sort of hold and like counter pressure, you know?
KAREN: Yeah.
WHITNEY: So he was helping me with that. And then at like Probably two or three in the morning. I don't know. He said, you know, I really need to go to sleep. Like you can't keep waking me up every time. And I'm like, good point. You know, I don't really need to be waking you up. This is silly. So I just sort of like laid there and you know, every few minutes I would.
Just sort of feel one come in, but again, it wasn't all that intense and I was using a heating pad and I was actually able to fall asleep like for a few minutes at a time and then one would come, I'd wake up and fall back asleep.
KAREN: Did you use any tools to help you get through the contractions when they started getting more intense?
WHITNEY: Well, yes. So the next day, well, Monday, when I woke up, I mean, I didn't really sleep, but It was still the same thing happening. They were just still continuing on. I'm really glad I didn't go to the hospital when the app told me to, which was Sunday afternoon, because there was no change.
I mean, this is like 12, 15 hours later. It's still the exact same thing. Yeah, it was long and And again, I'm still not sure this is labor because I've never given birth before, and I don't actually know. I just know that, like, I'm cramping. Yeah, it's that
KAREN: first time mom, like, is this real labor? Is this prodromal labor?
Is this cramps? Is this indigestion? Like, obviously we know this is like, Some type of labor, but I know that feeling of like, doubting, like, is this real?
WHITNEY: Yeah, like, is this happening? Yes. So we need
KAREN: like, a term for that. Like, first time mom in labor denial or something. Right.
WHITNEY: It's a thing. It is a thing. It's
KAREN: a real thing.
For
WHITNEY: sure. And
KAREN: you don't want to get your hopes up too much. You're like, okay, it'll, the real part will start later. The active part will start later, you know, especially if they're not painful. Like, how do you know? It's like, You have to gauge by intensity, and even that is kind of subjective.
WHITNEY: Yeah, for sure.
Yes. It was, it was confusing for me. It was hard for me to know my husband actually. So he called off work. He was like, I'm not going to go in. I think that you're, you know, in labor and I'm like, no, I'm not in labor, but you're welcome to stay home. If you want to, he's like, well, you know, you've been feeling this way since yesterday.
I think that something's happening. Well, sure enough that afternoon. So now we're at Monday afternoon. It's been almost, you know, a day of this and. They start to get more intense. So I had a ball that I had been using you know, to bounce around while I was pregnant and stuff like that like exercise ball.
I would kind of like roll on that when one would come, but mainly what I discovered And then I didn't even I didn't even think of this. Okay. This was so instinctual because I'm downstairs. I'm trying to do laundry and some dishes thinking, you know, if I am going into labor, I want to get the house ready.
And every time a contraction would come, I would start sort of like this chanting. I would kind of like chant my way through it. What did it
KAREN: sound like? Will you do it for us?
WHITNEY: I wish so badly that I had a video of the Burt for this. chants. My husband told me that they sounded like Gregarian chanting, which I have never even heard of, but I had to look it up on YouTube.
Like Gregarian monks? Yes. And it sounded just like that. It was kind of like a Wow. Do it, do it, do it. Okay, hang on, let me try. Okay it's like, ah,
ah. Something along those lines. Oh, that's so cool. We're out, it was just very low and very sort of guttural. And I just sort of like paused what I was doing and just yeah, ah, Until the sensation passed. Like it sort of distracted me, I guess, from the sensation. But I didn't even think of that. It just started coming out of my mouth.
My husband's like, what are you doing? You, you know, you sound like you're chanting. I'm like, I don't know. Don't just ignore me.
KAREN: I love that you followed your instincts and you just felt safe enough to just do whatever felt instinctual.
WHITNEY: Yeah, it was so instinctual. It was so funny. And you're
KAREN: a singer, so it makes sense to me that you would use your vocals to help cope with labor because that's a muscle, that's a practice you've cultivated.
And it's probably not what your voice normally sounds like when you're singing, but it's still, it's just like what feels good in that moment to you, right. You're using your, your vocal cords, which is actually, there's a huge correlation between our throat and our cervix. And most people don't realize that is that when we, yeah, when we vocalize and open our, our throat, our, or some would say their throat chakra or.
you know, just your throat, there, there is a correlation to your cervix and your sacral area. And it comes from when we were in the womb before the sacral area of our spine and the top of our spine were actually fused together before they open. So there's an energetic connection there. And when we are vocalizing in labor, and this is true, like, In intimacy as well, and in labor, it's the same hormones, very similarly physiological process that opening the throat opens you up in your vagina, your cervix, like your whole pelvic region opens and relaxes as you open and relax your throat.
vocal cords and your throat muscles. And so I think it's a beautiful practice and science backs it up
WHITNEY: and you
KAREN: didn't even know
WHITNEY: it. Yeah, that's fascinating. That's so fascinating because it was definitely instinctual for me. And I definitely think it helped me relax. I mean, that's what it felt like. It felt like I was sort of relaxing myself enough to get through the sensation.
So that's fascinating. Yeah.
KAREN: How did your faith play a role in this birth?
WHITNEY: A huge role. My faith played a huge role. So I again, the entire idea of me having a natural birth stemmed from me wanting to have a water birth, which stemmed from sort of feeling called towards it. I just, I really felt it like in my gut that I was, you know, This baby wants to be born in water and I'm like, what wants to be born in water?
I don't want to do that. I want to, you know, it was not on my radar at all, but it became such a strong inkling and I've always had very strong faith and close relationship with God. And so I've learned over time to trust when I have very strong feelings like that.
KAREN: Yeah.
WHITNEY: So I'm like, okay, I guess, you know, this is what I'm.
being called to do and I'll do it. And so really right from the get go, I, and you know, I was praying throughout because I'm still scared, you know, I'm a new mom and I'm just praying throughout. I really pray that I'm doing the right thing. I pray that this is, You know, gonna go well, that I'm gonna have a safe birth and that the baby's going to be safe.
And it was a lot of faith and even, you know, I feel like birth itself is sort of the epitome of let go, let God. Because particularly when it gets to that intensity, I mean, you really, you got to let go. It's like, you have to, you know, at this point you just. I just remember thinking, like, all hands up, you know, I hope God saves me.
It's true. That's sort of what it's like, it's you truly, you let go and you let God, and then you see how he comes through for you. And it's like the most spiritual, rewarding thing. I mean, I felt so close to God. So, so, so close to God. Especially. right after the birth and the weeks following. I mean, very, very spiritual and connected feeling.
KAREN: Yeah. It really is , a transformational process. And yes, I believe it like opens us up to God or the divine in a really deep way that sometimes is hard to articulate. But it's like, I would agree with you. It's like, he's, he's so close and the spirit realm is so close and our intuition is so turned on.
It's like, we're living in like the duality of these two realms, the spirit realm and the natural realm. And we're kind of walking in both. And those maternal instincts are so heightened and we're just so present and aware of different energies that are happening and where our heart is at. And the emotions of everything are so intense.
It's really an incredible. Journey.
WHITNEY: A beautiful thing I want to add to that real quick is I think that exactly what you were saying is sort of how it perfectly leads us into motherhood. Like, it's sort of that perfect step because your instincts are so strong and your intuition is so strong, but you've never been a mom before.
So how do you know that they're right? But then they prove to be right. You know, you're when you're really connected with how spiritual and transformational the experience is, and then. Suddenly you have a newborn and you have, you're again using all those same instincts and intuitions, but now you can really feel like you trust them because it's like I just birthed her, you know, and I, I knew that I could and I did and I know that I can do this.
It really sort of continues to play out. In that way through postpartum.
KAREN: Absolutely. It like sets a new standard of confidence. Yes. And resolve inside you. And it's like this solidness, like, I know I can do this. If I just did that, I can do anything. And it's like this perseverance that I feel like that mama bear really gets activated in that sense.
Yeah. Not that we're always in that, but it can come out and it's there if we need it. And we know that that power is there. Exactly. Yes. So tell us about the transfer to the hospital and what happened when you got there,
WHITNEY: Lord, that was the hardest part of the entire thing was going to the hospital. I promise you if I had just stayed in my tub at home, I think it would have been like 10
KAREN: Peaceful and calm.
Next time, now you know.
WHITNEY: Whole
KAREN: book.
WHITNEY: But yeah, we had to, so, you know, the doula says, you know, I've been seeing your body work really hard and I think it's time we go to the hospital. Is that okay with you? And, you know, I'm, by this point I'm really quite out of it. Yeah. Sure. I'm barely speaking at this point, you know, you, as you get deeper and deeper into labor and you sort of go deeper and deeper into the zone, it's hard to like respond to external stimuli.
Or it was for me.
KAREN: Yep. And that's very normal. And it should be that way.
WHITNEY: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's also
KAREN: a good sign. You're pretty far
WHITNEY: along. Right. Right. So my husband and Doola are trying to get me the car. The master bath is upstairs. So we have to go down our stairs. And then when we get to the first floor of our house, we have to go down another set of stairs to get into the driveway.
And I'm contracting this entire way. I mean, it is the slowest process getting. to the car because every minute, maybe two minutes, I'm having another contraction. So I take a few steps and then a contraction comes and
KAREN: it sounds like I was holding.
WHITNEY: Yes, it was. Yes. Cause when you're in active labor, you don't want in the gravity,
KAREN: you don't want to move.
Like you want to get in a position and trying to get out of that position is like, I know. I was like, this is a
WHITNEY: joke. Yeah, it was, it was like a joke. I mean, and I was just like, you know, by this time my chanting had become like roars. I mean, I was like, every time one would kind of just so loud. I know.
Never heard myself that loud before or since, but so, you know, I'm doing this and then I'm outside and I'm thinking like, hope that coming for a split second, the thought comes into my head. I hope the neighbors don't hear me. I mean, you know, it's just all, very, very intense and loud. And we don't actually have time or we forget or somehow in the midst of all this, we don't bring our bags or our purses or our shoes.
So we get me into the car and we get to the hospital and we pull up and the doula is talking to my husband on the phone. She's following in her car behind us. She's like, just pull up to the phone. Fire lane, like just get her directly out the car. We pull up to the fire lane, you know, I stand out the car and contract against the side of it.
And the people inside the hospital see me and someone comes out with like a wheelchair and sits me in that and like wheels me in and everyone in the lobby. He's like looking at me and it's so ridiculous because at this point I still have in my head because of I've been thinking this whole time maybe it's not labor like literally I pull I despite the fact that I've pulled up to the hospital and everyone's staring at me and I'm obviously in very intense labor in my head I'm still So like, maybe I'm not because I haven't actually been checked yet.
I have no, like, I don't really know for sure. I mean, that's the silliest thought, but I'm telling you, but also they weren't like
KAREN: really painful. So your brain is like doing tricks on you, baby.
WHITNEY: Well, they were intense. They were very, very intense. I wouldn't call it pain. I have a really great sort of like metaphor that.
My husband asked me as soon as it was done. What did that feel like? And I remember thinking, gosh, I don't really know how to describe. what that just felt like. Like, I don't have the exact words, but if I have to explain this to you, the best way I would describe it is like you're standing.
It felt like I was standing on train tracks and I could see a train coming towards me, but I couldn't get off.
I have no other description for it. And what I mean by that is of how mental it was. And like, I'll know this for the second go round, but it was so much anticipation, because I could feel it. feel and sense, almost like see that a contraction was going to come. And I would start to like, you know, I felt like I was standing on train tracks and a train's coming towards me and it's going to hit me and nobody, I can't get off the train tracks.
Nobody's going to help me. I'm just going to have to get hit. It's like, It's like you're standing there and a train's coming towards you and then you get hit, maybe, but you don't even really like, you don't even really feel it. Like if you were to get hit by a train, you don't really like feel it. I mean, you know, it's like, then suddenly you're just like back, you're still standing there and now another train's coming and you're like, great, here comes another one about to get hit.
That's what it felt like.
KAREN: Like it was so mental. Very surreal. Like in the way you experienced it, kind of like the surreal thing that keeps happening, but also like the lack of. Control and yes, embracing the uncertainty that like this train is coming. I have no control over that. Like this next contractions coming.
I have no control over that,
WHITNEY: right? Like here, here it comes. I'm about to get hit less. I'm just going to stand here and take it. That's what it was like. Yeah. And. Yeah, that's really like the best description. I can't even describe the actual like sensation of it because other than like early labor early labor was like cramps back pain.
But by the time I got to like the intensity, I mean, I couldn't tell you what that like sensation was like only what. It felt like from my brain, which was like a train was about to hit me over and over and over again.
KAREN: In lots of intensity, for sure. So you get, to the hospital and they wheel you right into your delivery room.
What, what happens next?
WHITNEY: So our midwife actually didn't begin her shift until 6 30. So I was greeted by the hospital midwife who covers their practice. Her name was Laura and had never met her before, but again, I was totally in my own zone, so I really didn't care what was happening around me.
But She was like, I'm gonna check you. Okay, great. You're nine centimeters. I think she might have said over nine centimeters. You're 100 percent of face, like, congratulations. You know, your, your baby's coming soon. And again, I'm just so in my own zone. I hear her, but I don't react or anything.
I'm just like, Great. The train's coming again. Here comes another train. And what's your process
KAREN: of managing through these contractions? Are you quiet? Are you loud? Like, how are you handling them? I'm
WHITNEY: very, very loud. Again, this is my chanting that I had started in, like, early labor is continued, except for it's extremely loud now.
Like, very, very loud. And I found that to be useful. I love that
KAREN: you could do that in a hospital because a lot of women will say that they felt too self conscious to like be loud in a hospital. Oh, I, I was
WHITNEY: saying I'm sorry so many times. I mean, I was just like, I'm sorry. And then like, here comes another one.
I mean, then I would like look around, like, I'm so sorry. I said, I'm sorry, like a dozen times. I was very self conscious about how loud I was being, but I couldn't help it. Like I could not control it.
KAREN: Well, that's good. And you shouldn't have to. So,
WHITNEY: yeah. So I would, yeah, I was roaring. I was definitely one of those lion birthers.
And I also had a comb that I was holding in the palm of my hand. Which I'm not entirely sure I had heard that that kind of like transfer the sensation. I'm not entirely sure that it did that for me, but it did provide me with, I mean, I held on to it like, you know, nobody was taking that comb from me.
I just sort of like held on to it the entire time. Was it like a
KAREN: distraction from It was
WHITNEY: a bit of a like distraction, just something to squeeze. Kind of like you would squeeze a stress ball while you're, getting shots or something like that.
So my husband had to go back home to get our stuff and our shoes and my wallet, my ID, because we didn't have that in the hospitals. Like we need her ID. We don't know who this is. And so the whole thing's a mess.
So my, then when my husband gets back to the room, the midwife is like, okay, you can start pushing. About that same time, like about when my husband returned, then only a little bit later, our midwife arrived at the hospital. So this is like six 30, probably. And she gets there and it's really nice to see her because I had been seeing her for the appointments leading up.
So it feels. It was more comforting seeing her face and, you know, she just sort of comes up to me and she's like whispering to me, you're doing so great. And she's saying, I can see your baby, your baby's doing so great. And I'm sideline on the hospital bed right now. My husband's holding my leg in the air and I'm just sort of roaring and people are talking to me and saying stuff, but I'm not really hearing anyone.
And then she's like, when's the last time you peed? And I'm like, you know, the others are trying to say, oh, she actually hasn't peed in a while, like not before, since she got into the bathtub back home. And I'm thinking it, but again, I'm not speaking and so she's like, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna get you up and try to like, get you to walk over there to the bathroom.
And I mean, I'm sidelining on the hospital bed. So I'm thinking in my head, I mean, there's no way I can stand up at this point and walk to the bathroom. Like I already just made it from my bathtub to this hospital. I'm not standing up again. This is not, no way. But then I also felt like. You know, I need to listen to her.
So I'm like, okay, we're just going to give it everything I've got and try to walk over to the bathroom. So I sort of sit up on the hospital bed and I go to walk towards the bathroom. All I do is even get my feet on the ground and maybe take one step, maybe two steps max before I just drop into the squat position.
Cause baby just drops. So now she's crowning on the floor, the The midwife's like got a little tarp or blanket or something under me. She's thinking, you know, she about to deliver on the floor. Now they're saying, get back on the bed, get back on the bed. I'm like, Oh, you've got to be kidding. Like I just did all this to get off the bed and now I got to get back on the bed.
So then I get back onto the bed. I just sort of crawl up there. So I end up on all fours and I just sort of stay in that position because, you know, it's all happening. And Yeah, so I feel, I wasn't really, like, intentionally doing any pushing, because at this point, my body was kind of pushing. I felt, with each contraction, I could just feel her going down, down. I wasn't like, intentionally really pushing. There was only one time, which I regret this. And I, in the second go around, I don't want to do this. There was one time where one of the nurses at the hospital, clearly probably not experienced with natural birth. Sees her head out and is starting to yell, push, push. And I'm like, it is really distracting me, her yelling push.
And for like a second, I sort of like slip out of my focus zone. Cause I hear her and I it's the first time I speak since I've arrived to the hospital. I just. Pause everything. I looked directly at her. I said, I am not pushing until the next contraction because it was so confusing to me to have her yelling, push, push, push.
She didn't even know whether I was contracting or not. I'm like, I know what my body's doing. Like, Please stop yelling push. But I did like accidentally push once while she was yelling that because she sort of like got me out of my head for a second and I pushed and it hurt so bad and that's when I paused for the first time I spoke I said I am not doing that again like not until I have a contraction
KAREN: that's so interesting because I love that you spoke up for yourself. Because so only time I love it because so many women feel like they get into the exact same situation.
They know exactly what's coming. They know they're gonna the hospital, you know, staff may coach them and try to tell them to push. And sure enough, they always do. And then they get out of their head just like you did. And then they start pushing and they know, like, intuitively, this doesn't feel right.
Yeah. And and they do that, because especially once the head is out, there's this, there's this Thought this, this belief in the obstetric community, that that's the most dangerous time. And, and that baby like pushing is dangerous and the head is out and you got to get the baby out immediately. It's just like one step birth that they try to get like all of the baby in one push.
But in many cases, in most cases, baby doesn't come out all at once, unless you have a fetal ejection reflex, but usually the head comes out and then you usually wait a contraction until the next. Yeah, contraction and then the body comes out, but they don't allow for that in many hospitals and many Staff are actually trained to like get that baby out as fast as possible Even if you're not having a contraction, which is very painful and it's not Physiologically normal to do it that way and I think it's dangerous, but they are trying to avoid And trying to avoid something dangerous or an emergency later, they're actually creating a lot more danger.
So it doesn't surprise me, but I'm so impressed that you felt calm. You trusted your body and you were confident enough to look her right dead in the eye and say,
WHITNEY: no, absolutely not. And like, I said it in a way, like I looked her dead in the eye in a way, like, Stop talking. Like, no, like, don't say it again.
Stop saying push. Because I mean, it was crazy. I'm like the, I'm not contracting. And prior to that, again, the contractions had been doing the pushing. I wasn't really doing my, they were just sort of pushed in or down. So when I'm having like, finally. Your body knows what
KAREN: to do. It labors the baby down and they don't understand
WHITNEY: that.
KAREN: I know. So the hospital, like in the maternity ward, how do you not know that?
WHITNEY: Yeah. Totally, totally crazy. And I knew it too. So like the heads out and that one lady push, push. And I'm thinking, this is my chance to breathe. I just had that contraction where I got her head out.
I'm sitting here on the train tracks. Another train's going to come. When that train comes, the body will come out. But like, for now, I'm trying to take a second to breathe. Yeah. And showing your
KAREN: rhythm of train tracks. And yeah, you're like, leave me alone, lady. I got my rhythm. I got my visuals. Like you're not on
WHITNEY: the train tracks.
KAREN: I'm on the train tracks.
WHITNEY: So yeah. And sure enough, that next contraction, you know, down went her body and out she came. But that was sort of, that was only my one. Our one little sort of mishap where I pushed against my own.
KAREN: Yeah, and, and you can tell the difference of how much more painful it is when we're not following your intuition.
WHITNEY: It hurt. It hurt so bad. That's why, you know, that's why I looked at her like that. I mean, it hurt. I'm like, no way. I'm not doing that again. No way.
KAREN: You said a few things in your story and I just want to quote them because they were so beautiful. So beautiful. I love all of your analogies and, and metaphors.
You said at one point, as soon as I soon feel the power that's been gripping me begin to move down through me. And I just love that description of the power of birth and even how it changes in the second stage in pushing, because it's like, there's this power gripping you, like you're, you're feeling it.
And then it just begins to move down and there's a direction to it. There's like a purpose to it.
WHITNEY: Yes. And it is a relief. It is a relief because it's been gripping you and everything's been like the power has been inside you, gripping you. And now it's going somewhere and it's like, ah, it's, it's starting to leave me this.
This thing that has a hold of me is leaving and it's a relief pushing was a relief. So what position did you push her out in? So I was on all fours again because I had come from the floor and I so you were like squatting
KAREN: on the floor.
WHITNEY: I was like literally on hands and knees like a dog. Like, yeah,
KAREN: yeah.
But then so but you were squatting and then got into hands and knees on the bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing. And so what did it feel like after baby was born?
WHITNEY: To relive that feeling over and over. It felt like ecstasy. I mean, I've never, I've never done ecstasy. I don't know what ecstasy feels like, but I imagine if there were a word for it, that's what it would be. I mean, the most intense high I've ever, ever experienced after birth. So intense. Just, elation. I mean, I don't have the words.
It's like you're speechless. Yeah, speechless. It was completely
KAREN: incredible. What was your favorite part about this birth?
WHITNEY: My favorite part of the birth? Here, give me a second to think.
Okay. My favorite part of the birth was when I was home in the bathtub and I, We were, I had a playlist that I had gotten together for the birth. I had in my head that I might be dancing while I was in labor which did not happen at all. I had no interest in dancing, but I had created this playlist that was like lots of dance songs thinking I would be wanting to dance to them.
And. Then this song came on The Head and the Heart, Rivers and Roads is the song, and my doula actually, I guess she knew the song, she starts kind of like humming it or singing along with it, and I get, it occurs to me, I should also sing with her. So then I start singing, and me and the doula are singing this song together.
Rivers and roads. I don't know if you've heard the song before, but it actually goes really well with the chanting stuff because it's lots of like harmonies in the song. And there's a part where it's like,
so we're just sort of sitting in the tub, like, and that was probably my favorite, like memory. I'm like, I'm sitting here singing with this amazing woman. Who's She's helping me, you know, supporting me through this incredible experience and we're singing together. It was really beautiful.
KAREN: Yeah. That is beautiful.
What a great way to release oxytocin and get into your body.
WHITNEY: Yeah. That's probably
KAREN: my favorite moment,
WHITNEY: but I had a lot of moments. I loved it. It was a lot of fun. The whole thing was a lot of fun.
KAREN: I love hearing that. It was like a big
WHITNEY: adventure. I mean, it really was.
KAREN: Yeah, like even just hearing that birth can, labor can be fun and an adventure.
Yes. Even though it's hard work and intense. But it can be beautiful and fun and
WHITNEY: an exciting. I mean, it's so exciting. It's like what's happening. Like,
KAREN: am I a labor? Am I not? Yeah,
WHITNEY: it was fun.
KAREN: What was postpartum like for you?
WHITNEY: Postpartum was Also awesome. It actually, I think I really feel that the natural birth high afterwards sustained me through what my friends and family have described as It's traditionally a very difficult part right after birth, particularly like those first two to three weeks when, you know, I don't even really remember them, but you know, you're not really like sleeping and it's just, everything's so new.
I was still on cloud nine. I never even felt tired. I had like this crazy amount of adrenaline and just like I could not wait to like see her and nurse her again and just like be, I just, I still felt like I was like high on drugs really. How long did
KAREN: that last?
WHITNEY: Yeah, I would say it definitely lasted like the first couple weeks and honestly, it probably lasted like the first three months.
Not like so intense, the intensity, like, you know, but and honestly it kind of lasted me. I really didn't start to feel like I was like back to sort of a baseline until like nine months when my daughter started weaning. So honestly, like the breastfeeding, I feel like kind of carried it. Yeah. Made it last a bit longer, but I really was feeling like I was just like on a high for a long time postpartum.
And it was a really sort of miraculous thing because it's when you, you're needed the most in those early days. And I had sort of the super net, what felt like supernatural energy and ability. To do it all. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas, you know, I wouldn't be able to, and regular old me wouldn't be able to do that.
KAREN: Yeah. Yeah. Ladies, this is the power of an unmedicated labor right there, like in it shows up the strongest in the postpartum, and I think. We just don't talk about that enough. And we talk about the birth high and like that hour after birth and the golden hour and how great it is. And so many women don't realize you can carry that on through your postpartum.
And that same exact thing happened to me. I was like, this is incredible. I'm on cloud nine. Like, how do I get more of this? And then I started researching and I'm like, Oh, it's oxytocin. And I get more every time I bond with my baby. And Every time I breastfeed and every time I look her in the eyes and it's just like it, it literally is like a drug.
Like your brain is releasing very similar hormones and chemicals than as if you were taking drugs, but it's all natural and it's all the way God designed it to bond us to our babies and to give us supernatural power as moms.
WHITNEY: Right. It's particularly to get through those first few months. Yeah.
KAREN: Yeah. It's amazing.
Tell us what you said like right after baby came out. I, I think
WHITNEY: this is so funny. Oh, yeah. Well, again, I was like apologizing throughout. I mean, because of how loud I was being, which is ridiculous. I love it. You're like
KAREN: such a, probably a quiet Southern girl normally. Yes. And then you're like roaring. Yes.
And I was like,
WHITNEY: so quiet normally that I was like, I mean, I was embarrassed, like, you know, not embarrassed, but self conscious. Yeah. Of the noise. And like, as soon, like, I like looked around, I'm like, you guys, that was not nearly as bad as it sounded. Like, I know it sounded really bad. It was not. And like, everyone just started laughing.
And then funny enough, like, only, A little bit later, I heard another woman making those same noises just down the hall. You gave her
KAREN: permission.
WHITNEY: And the nurse said, yeah, just so you know, we hear those noises like all the time. It's not just you. Oh, yeah. The sounds of a woman giving birth. If
KAREN: anyone has heard and seen all of the things before, it's a labor and delivery nurse.
Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, gosh. And
WHITNEY: your baby, how big was your baby? Yeah, she was big. She was eight pounds, 11 ounces.
KAREN: Wow. Yeah, I was surprised. Big size baby and a long labor and still just a beautiful. That was
WHITNEY: beautiful.
KAREN: Beautiful birth. What an incredible birth. So
WHITNEY: beautiful. Yeah. What would you say
KAREN: to First time moms, especially, but any woman preparing for birth and feeling a little scared.
WHITNEY: I would just say to learn as much as you can. I feel like that was really helpful to me. Just like taking in as much positive birth stories. I didn't listen to any negative birth stories. I didn't read anything about birth horror stories, nothing like that. I only filled with positivity and I prayed a lot about it.
I prayed and prayed. And I would say the mental The mental prep work was really, really useful and gave me the confidence, you know, by the time it was time for me to give birth, I had learned so much and it was so sort of internalized that It's not a head thing, it's like a,
KAREN: it's like in you.
WHITNEY: Yeah. Yeah, I
KAREN: love that. It's so beautiful. So I would say
WHITNEY: study, you know, pretend like you're back in school going to take a test and study up.
KAREN: Yeah. Prepare. I know it's, it's so important and I can't tell you how many moms said, oh, I wish I had this. knowledge or information or that I found you for my first or second babies.
And they just, we typically just go to the hospital. We trust our OB, we do what we're told. And we don't realize like this is a massive event and it takes so much preparation. Most of that preparation is mental preparation. And we don't understand how we have literally been conditioned to fear birth and fear what we're capable of and fear our body.
And when we can really dismantle those belief systems and fears, like And get those stories and, and that knowledge and that confidence inside of you, which is exactly what you did all along the way. Like you were just pulling and searching for those positive birth stories and information that would help you along your way and how to push and how to breathe and trusting your body.
Like there's so many layers to this. And I, I just love that. That wisdom that you're sharing with moms to really encourage them to prepare because we, we can't just walk into it thinking, oh, it's just going to all go smooth and according to plan and I'll go with the flow. And like, we wouldn't approach any other major life event with that mentality.
If you were going to run a marathon or getting married or anything that is momentous in your life. As a child birthing a child is like, we wouldn't just walk in with no prep and no plan. Yeah.
WHITNEY: And you know, like they say, knowledge is power and it's true. It's particularly true with birth. Like, you know, the more, the more, you know, and can internalize about it, I think the better off you are.
KAREN: Yeah. And you get to choose what kind of preparation you do, because I believe it's not just head knowledge and there's, you can prepare and read all the books and still be in a spirit of fear and control. You can go to the medical literature. You can talk to the fearful mothers, the mothers who had traumatic births or the doctors who are afraid of all the emergencies happening.
And you can fill your heart with the fearful stories as well. So I believe who you get your training and preparation from is equally as important. As doing the work because you, you're, you have to turn on your discernment and know like this is where this isn't a cow or a person or an expert that I really feel I just, I just align with, I just, I, I'm like, it's like everything she says makes sense to me or he, and knowing like that you can trust your discernment, even in the birth preparation and find teachers and educators and midwives who align with your, your your view of birth and what your spirit knows to be true.
And I just believe that like our spirits will guide us to the right information. And, and there's some of you listening who've been following me who are like, they recommend my account to everyone. And it's like, and there's some people that don't follow me. They're like, that's not for me. And I, I love that too, that they each, for every woman, every mother gets to find the, the influences that, that really empower her in her childbirth.
And I think that's so important to be able to use that discernment and turn it on and, and link up and find invest in resources that truly feel like they empower your, your spirit in, in preparing for birth.
WHITNEY: Yeah. And I think empower is a really good word there too. Because it is really empowering regardless how you do it.
Yeah. As long as you're you're the one who chose how to, you know, and so, yeah, I like your use of the word empower there.
KAREN: Yeah. Cause we can't always control the outcome, but we can be the one to make the choices all along the way. Even in emergencies, we can still give, allow that mother to be the one. in charge, the one that's empowered, the one that is in control of her body and the process and what she's choosing to do.
And I think, especially when births don't go as planned, that's even more important to make sure that mother still feels like she has the power. For sure. Yeah. Well, thank you, Whitney, so much for, for sharing your story and for coming on. This has just been a treat and I, for all the moms preparing for hospital birth, I know this is going to be like a little gem that they hold in their heart.
And so thank you for, for being that light and encouragement to other moms, just like you sought out in your birth experience.
WHITNEY: Yes. I'm so honored and grateful for the opportunity. So thank you for having me and allowing me to share. I hope that whoever is watching that you. Have the birth that you want as well.
KAREN: Thank you. Yeah. Would you let us know where they can find you if they want to connect?
WHITNEY: Yes. So I have a website vehicle of wisdom. com and I'm on Instagram and Facebook, Whitney, Val creative and vehicle of wisdom are my social media accounts. So, yeah, I would love to connect with you guys.
KAREN: Yeah, we'll put those in the show notes for you guys. Thank you so much. All right, ladies, we'll see you next
WHITNEY: week.
