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Hi friends, welcome to the Pain Free Birth podcast. I'm your host, Karen Welton, a certified doula, childbirth educator and mother of three. In this space, we'll hear positive, supernatural and yes, even pain free birth stories from women just like you. We'll explore the deeply spiritual side of childbirth and how God designed women's bodies brilliantly for birth. Let's get started. Today I have a special treat for you.
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On this episode of the Pain Free Birth podcast, I will be sharing my first birth story, the story that kickstarted this whole movement. It's the reason behind why I created a course and why I am so passionate about helping women have empowering positive pain-free births. This is the story of my first birth that happened over 10 years ago. And this has previously only been available.
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inside the Pain Free Birth e-course for those who subscribe or purchase that. And so today I am making it available to everyone because it is so important to me to share with the world what is possible in birth. This was really the birth that lit a fire inside of me to tell the world that pain free birth is possible, that women are being lied to, and that women are designed to give birth.
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And so my prayer for you today listening is that this story would challenge you, inspire you, and most of all cause you to dream big and ask boldly for what you deeply desire in your birth experience.
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This story is my own and it's my journey into pain-free birth. And the whole reason this course exists is because of this story. I remember getting toward the end of my pregnancy and just feeling so confident that my body knew what to do. I had done a lot of research, but I didn't really over research everything. I didn't know everything about birth because remember, this is I'm it's my first baby. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what it's going to feel like.
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that the way God designed my body, my body will know what to do. Even if I don't know what to do, my body knows what to do. It's programmed into my DNA, into the very design and function of my body, and it can do it. And so I just began to fascinate myself with birth. I would read stories about how the baby will actually kick itself out as the uterus gets hard on top, and you might feel kicks.
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and things like that that just blew my mind. And I began to have an awe and a wonder and a fascination toward birth. I actually didn't switch into home birth until I was 32 weeks pregnant. So for those of you who are with a provider you don't like or you know that you should be somewhere else and you think it's too late to switch. That's not true. It's your birth. It's your body.
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You go with wherever you know you need to go. And don't be afraid if you're 35 weeks pregnant and you need to switch providers. My daughter was born, she was one week late. She was a full seven days late. Now on average, first time moms will go a week and a day late. So I just prepared myself mentally, I'm gonna go a week late. And then I wasn't disappointed when my due date came and went. And another day went by, and another day went by, and another day went by. I had energy.
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and I didn't feel miserable, so it wasn't a hardship for me to go another week. So the contractions, when my labor actually did start, they started in the evening, and it does for a lot of women because we tend to relax in the evenings and your body relaxes and then all of a sudden it feels safe to start labor. First time moms, never listen because they're so excited. Second, third time moms, they know exactly what's up and they go back to bed. So contractions for me started in the evening.
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And I did get excited. But I did eventually think, OK, this is probably still early labor. I should go to bed. So I started laying in bed. I think it was actually we fell asleep. And then they woke me up at some time in the night. And so I'm lying in bed, feeling these contractions. And they're starting to get more powerful. They're starting to get stronger and closer together. And I remember lying in bed, trying to find a position that worked for me. I was turning from side to side. It's like I was writhing.
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And when it would start to come and I could feel the tensing of my body, I would brace myself for the contraction because I knew it was coming. And let me tell you, it hurt. They were really painful. When I talk about pain-free birth, I'm not saying, like, I don't know what pain feels like. It was really painful. It was more painful in those early morning contractions than the rest of my labor. And I remember complaining to God. I said, God, this is not what I planned for. This is not what we agreed on.
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that I know and we've been on this journey and you better tell me what to do because this ain't working. That's what I told him and I think he could handle that. He wasn't offended. I said this ain't working. Tell me what I need to do because you know I didn't have a whole lot of words. I just knew I needed an answer that worked for me right here right now because I was in pain and I didn't like it and I heard him say clear as day, embrace it. And I'm like what? It hurts. I don't want to embrace it.
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These contractions hurt. Why would I embrace it? That's so counterintuitive. But before I could start complaining, I just said, okay, I'll try it. I'll try anything once. And so the next contraction came and I remember it started to build and everything in me wanted to tense and tighten up and brace for it. And instead I said, embrace it, embrace it, embrace it. And so I began to relax my muscles and I welcomed the contraction in.
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I welcomed the surge of, it was like a surge of energy, like a ball of energy building in my abdomen, in my womb, as the uterus was tightening, it gets hard and you can feel it, it's hard. And it began to tighten because remember that uterus is pulling up and opening your cervix to dilate. And so your whole belly will get hard and I could feel everything tighten, but instead of tensing, I sunk into it. I embraced it. It's like I welcomed
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the surge of energy into my body and I could feel it grow, grow, grow, grow, get intense, more intense, but I still embraced it. And then I began to feel it fading away and dissipating. And it washed over me like a wave, like a wave of energy, and it just kind of exited my body. And I went, huh, that didn't hurt. Now it wasn't any less intense than the contractions before it that did hurt. But this one wasn't painful. So I thought, okay, God.
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It works that time, I'll try it again. And so the next contraction came, it built, it built, it built, I sunk into it, I embraced it. One friend of mine says, give that contraction a bear hug. Like literally embrace it with your whole body, your whole being. And I began to focus intensely on relaxing every muscle and I could feel as soon as something tensed up, whether it was my forehead, my shoulders, my legs, I would feel pain. The contraction would hurt. But as I embraced the contraction as a good thing,
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It was helping me. It was opening up my body for birth. It didn't hurt and the hours went on and for the rest of my birth, my contractions didn't hurt. And so I got so excited. I thought this is working. God gave me an answer. He's showing me and I was I remembered learning how to work with my body learning how to relax as the contraction built and it took a lot of focus and a lot of concentration in those in the beginning hours of that.
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of early labor, I was still in early labor. It wasn't intense, but it hurt like it was. You know what I'm talking about, some of you women. And so, but I remember feeling like this is working and I began to learn the rhythm. I learned the rhythm of how to relax. And as labor got into more active labor, I didn't need to focus so hard. It didn't take as much mental energy and power. It became like muscle memory. My muscles knew what to do and embrace the contraction. And I was able to stay relaxed. Every muscle.
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from your head to your toe, not just your womb and your uterus, but your legs, your shoulders, your arms, your belly, your feet. Women often hold tension in their forehead, in their jaw, their shoulders. I had to relax everything in my whole body to not experience pain. And as it went on, it was like muscle memory. And I didn't have to focus on it so hard. I just had to embrace it and sink into it. And not that fear went away. The fear of the anticipation of the pain went away.
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to experience the pain free contractions. And so that's always been a key that I tell every woman, embrace the contraction and don't try to rise above it and control it, but sink into it and get deeper and deeper and deeper still. Sink deep into the power of that surge and let it wash over your body, roll over you and then dissipate. It's a beautiful thing when you can learn to work with your body. And so,
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I imagined I also did visualizations in my mind, I would imagine the ball of energy expanding and then the wave rolling over me, or I would imagine my cervix opening up and expanding like a flower. The wave visualization really helped me because I could feel the intensity build and then wash over me and I felt like I was just kind of floating on water like the waves are washing over me, but I wasn't being hurt. I wasn't in danger.
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And it was like I could rest in that knowledge, that it would come and it would roll away. And so morning came, and when my contractions were about five minutes apart, I called my doulas, and they came over. And all of a sudden, though, as soon as they got there, it was around 8, 9 AM, my contractions stopped completely for half an hour. And I thought, I must have done something wrong. I must have broke it. Like, what did I do? Maybe I'm really not in labor. And I felt bad that I'd called them all over.
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And they were smart. They said, don't worry about it. We're just going to hang around for a little while. And we'll just see what happens. And sure enough, after half an hour, they picked back up. But they picked back up at about 9 or 10 minutes apart. So in a sense, I kind of started over. Not that I didn't do good work before that. But that's common in labor to have a stall in labor due to a change of environment, whether people are coming over or you're taking a t----.
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you're taking a ride to the hospital, very often your labor might stall. And it's because of the fear, flight, the stress hormones, when a new environment happens, it's enough physiologically to affect your body chemistry and your labor may stall. Totally normal. Of course, I didn't know that then, so I'm thinking I broke it. But I didn't, thankfully. And they were smart and they stuck around. And sure enough, my contractions picked back up. But my midwife was on the phone with the doulas and she was concerned that I was still
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you know, contracting at 10 minutes apart. I was still probably in pretty early labor. She wanted me to take castor oil to help speed up the labor process. It's a natural way to sort of induce labor. It sort of gets everything moving. It's an oil that you digest quickly. It gives you the runs. And it can be uncomfortable, and you're on the toilet a lot, but it can stimulate the uterus to contract more. And so she was afraid that I would be up another second night in a row contracting,
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run out of energy because first time moms tend to have longer labors. So she's thinking of all these things, understandably so. But something in me said, I don't need castor oil. First of all, I don't want to be stuck on the toilet with diarrhea. But second, I just believe my body knows what to do. I just trust my body. So I said, No, I'm just going to keep going. I think my body knows what to do. And so we decided to go for a walk. My husband and I left everybody in our house.
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The two doulas were there hanging out and we went for a walk. We have woods behind our house and it was so sweet. I remember walking in these woods and I would say, contraction or something like that. And my husband would come up alongside me face to face and I would wrap my arms around his neck and we would sway. Like we would do a little slow dance like this. And that movement so helped my hips. Everything felt fluid and movement is so key in labor.
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And so just moving my hips and having someone to lean on and support me took the pressure off. So we were walking through the woods. We were talking, we were laughing, and we went for quite a long walk. I think we were gone like almost two hours. And by the time we got back, I remember before we got back to our house, because we were walking along the trails and the doulas must have thought, where did they go? They just took off. We were just enjoying ourselves. We were going over roots and twigs and...
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I remember the contraction started to get so intense on our way back that I had to get on my hands and knees in the middle of the woods, like next to logs, and it was March. So everything was still kind of like muddy and wet and nothing was, it wasn't like beautiful green grass, it was dead leaves and bare trees. And so I remember on my hands and knees on the forest floor.
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groaning in a contraction because that's the position I knew I needed to be in. I was just instinctual and I knew I had to get on my hands and knees because it was a big one. And I still remember, I know exactly where that spot is behind our house with the logs and the trees. And I always think of that moment in my labor whenever I walk by. And so I thought, okay, it's getting more intense, we should really get home. And so we're walking across the backyard to go back into the house. And a big one is hits me and I don't have the words to say,
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contraction because my brain isn't working, all of a sudden it shuts off and all I can say verbally that my mouth, the sounds my mouth will make is, labor! And my husband knows exactly what I mean. He rushes up to me and I grab onto his neck and it hits me and I just sink into it and it still didn't hurt. But it was getting intense. So we come back inside and I'm laboring and I'm excited because I'm like, I think it's getting, we're getting to active labor and this is working.
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My midwife comes over shortly after and she, let's see, it was afternoon now, so about 1.30 in the afternoon, their contractions are like two minutes apart. So that's a sign that you're probably in active labor. My midwife comes over and at first I didn't wanna be checked because I didn't wanna be disappointed. Like, oh, you're only four centimeters. I didn't want that disappointment to affect my physiology.
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and then get discouraged and then my body not work very well because everything is connected. When you're discouraged, fearful, surprised, all of that affects how you feel labor and how your body works. And so I didn't want to be disappointed too early so I waited until I was good and ready to be checked. And when she checks me, she said, you're like six, seven centimeters. I think she checked me pretty soon after she arrived. And we were all, I was so excited. I was like, yes, like I'm in active labor.
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Because my fear was I did all that work, and it was that intense, but I'm still in really early labor. And so thank God it was good, and I was 6 and 7 centimeters. We all cheered. We were so happy. So I continued to labor. I used the birth ball. We had a birth stool. We had a tub, but I was waiting to get into the tub, that big, nice, cushion tub with hot water. I said, I'm not going to use that until I really, really need it. But I remember, hands and knees.
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really felt good for me. So I remember being on my hands and knees in the living room and my doula was squeezing my hips and I all of a sudden it dawned on me it's working. This isn't just going to get worse and worse like it's I had this thought in the back of my head the whole time even though I my contractions weren't painful like oh don't worry Karen you know just wait it'll get worse just wait it'll be painful later when it's like real active labor but I realized at this moment it's working.
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that I am experiencing what I've been praying for and what I've been asking God for. And I knew this is active labor. This isn't just like me in early labor and the real thing's going to come later. But this is it. The real thing is now. And all of a sudden I got so happy. And I know I got a burst of endorphins because I realized it's working. Everything I prayed for and it's happening to me right now. And I don't have to wait for the pain to come later. But the intense parts here now and it's not painful.
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And it made me so excited. I literally wanted to say I'm having fun because I was so happy. And it was almost like a game. Like I was having fun. It was intense and it was work, but I didn't have to strive. I didn't have to fight for it. I didn't, I wasn't, it wasn't a struggle at all. But I remember saying I'm having fun and I thought that's crazy. I start having this conversation in my own head. You're not having fun. You're in labor. Nobody has fun in labor. But I thought no, I am having fun.
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You need to say this out loud or else you're never going to believe yourself later." And then the other voice would say, Well, but what is your doula going to think? She's going to think you're crazy. And I said, No, but you need to say it or else you're not going to know that it was really that good. You need to say it for you. And so I said, Okay, okay, I'm going to say it even though I don't I'm going to sound crazy. And I just blurted out, I'm having fun. And I'm sure my doula was like, this is a little different. But I didn't care at that point. I just said, this is happening and it's awesome and it's beautiful.
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And I remember making these sounds like, oh, and mmm. And I would say things like, open. My doula said, say open. And it was like the very word open. When you make that sound with your mouth, open. Your cervix mimics whatever your mouth does. And so as I made the oh sound, I knew my cervix was opening. And I was also like commanding my body what to do. So as I said open, I knew my cervix was opening. And my doula would get.
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I started to get really loud because it was intense. I had to really go, whoa, open at some times. And I would get a little self-conscious that I'm being really loud. But every time I got loud, my doula, the assistant doula would say, oh, good job. That was a great one. You're doing so good. And her excitement over my noises gave me assurance and took away all that self-doubt and insecurity.
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And so I just poured myself into it. And I said, I'm going to let go. I'm going to let this be a primal thing. I'm not going to try to think about it. I'm just going to do whatever feels right, whatever my body needs, whether it's making grunts and noises and sounds, or whether it's getting in weird positions, or whether it's saying, I'm so happy. I just went with it. And I didn't care what anybody thought of me. So at one point, I was like, oh, my god.
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once it was really getting intense, I remember getting in the tub. And that tub, ladies, is like your epidural. If you want to go for a pain-free, unmedicated birth, draw a good warm bath. Even if you're in the hospital, you can use the bathtub. And that, I tell you, is your best epidural. It takes all the tension out of your muscles. It's like climbing in a hot tub and make sure it's hot enough. And so I got in the tub, and it felt heavenly. Every muscle in my body relaxed.
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And I was like, oh, this is the best thing ever. It was worth it. It was worth it having a whole birth. I knew this is what I needed. And I just relaxed and floated in this giant birth tub. And I thought, oh my gosh, I don't know how women give birth without a doula, because they were supporting me so much. I remember looking around at one point and seeing everyone around me, circling around me. I had my two doulas, a midwife, the midwife's assistant.
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and my husband and they were all surrounding me. And I thought, wow, I feel so loved. I feel so supported. This is perfect. This is beautiful. It's everything I wanted. And I remember at one point my legs started getting on fire. It was like they were hot and then they were cold. So I had to get out of the tub because I actually felt at first it wasn't hot enough. Then it was too hot. And they're pouring like buckets of boiling water in. And at one point I remember I felt like the babies had, I think I was sitting on the birth stool.
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and it felt like the baby's, I was going to poop out the baby's head. Like it was right there. It was such intense pressure. I can't even describe it to you. It was like, I literally had to take the biggest poop of my entire life, the size of a baby's head. And that's what it feels like when that head is getting ready to come out. And when that baby is descending, it hits the same nerves that you experience when you have to do a big bowel movement. So if you're ever wondering, are you ready to push or not yet?
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That's a good sign. You'll feel like you have to take a gigantic poop. So at that point, I got back in the tub, and I started bearing down. Now, my midwife never even had to check me to say, oh, you're 10 centimeters. It's time to push. My body knew when it was time to push. And instead of saying open, my doula said, say the word down. So I said, down. And I didn't.
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I actually read in the Hypno Baby's book that you don't have to push, your body will naturally labor the baby down. So I thought, well, that's great. I'll try that. And so I didn't forcefully push. I didn't hold my breath and, ooh, count to 10. It wasn't like that. But I just followed the lead of my body. And it got to a point where it was so intense. At the peak of the contraction, my body would involuntarily bear down, like grunting, pushing this baby out of me.
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as if I was pushing on the toilet, taking a bowel movement. But it was so much more intense than that. So it would bear down at the peak of the contraction, and I would go, ugh, like that. And I remember I didn't add to it, though. I just kind of went with it, whatever my body was doing. I remember speaking to my body and saying, you're in charge now. If I try to control this, even with one cell of me,
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I'm going to experience pain. And I knew I got to get out of the way and let my body take the driver's seat. So I said, I'm the passenger, you're the driver, and you're going to take me there. And whatever you do, I'm going to follow. I'm going to follow the intrinsic intelligence of my body. And you're going to tell me what I need to do. And so I stopped trying to think about it. And I just went with whatever I felt like my body was doing. And so.
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I remember though it being very intense and I remember feeling at that point when my body was bearing down and it was these intense surges like, oh, I don't like this, this is painful, I don't like this part. But I stopped myself and I said, no, I'm not going to say it's painful, I'm going to say, I don't like this, this doesn't feel good. Because I was so in tune with controlling my thoughts and I knew if I agreed with pain and I agreed with sorrow or suffering that I would see more of it. And so I chose to say, oh, I don't like this part, this part hurts.
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And it was intense at that very peak, and my body bore down. And so I let my body bear my baby down. And I remember they didn't try to coach me. They were actually following my lead, which was really cool, because my midwives, my doulas, they went with what my body was doing. Instead of saying, OK, time to get out of the tub. Go lay on the bed or the mattress. We had like a mattress with some cloths over it. And now it's time to lay on your back and count to 10.
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It wasn't like that at all. It was like, we're just going to go with the flow. And clearly, she's ready to push. So she never even needed to check me. I remember at one point that my doula came in front of me and said, you're doing such a great job. And I remember also feeling like I told my baby, it's OK. It's OK. I know it's intense. But you're going to be OK. And we're a team. And I made a promise. I made a deal with my baby. I said, if you get into the right position,
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will have a smooth, gentle labor. Because remember, I was nervous about posterior labor and back labor. And so I didn't want her to be in a posterior position. So I made a deal with her and said, if you get into the right position for labor, we'll have a smooth, easy labor. And so I would talk to my baby throughout the labor and say, you're doing great. That was awesome. Let's keep going. We're a team. And at one point, I literally felt her kicking off the top of my uterus. Because at the peak,
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of the contractions as the baby's descending and you're fully dilated, the uterus gets hard on top and creates what's called a fondus. And that fondus, it's like a bunch of muscles where the cervix is pulled up out of the way, the muscles then kind of congregate to the top and create a fondus and it gets really hard and it starts pushing the baby out. Your body will do this all on its own without you having to add to it. So remember reading that sometimes that actually creates...
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like a strong platform for the baby to kick off of. And have you ever held a baby and you put them in front of you on your lap, like a newborn, and they kick, they like jump off of you? That's a reflex designed for birth. God built that into the process so that babies, when they're being born and coming out, if you're not on drugs and they're not affected by those drugs, an alert baby will kick itself off the top of the uterus and down the birth canal. And I felt her kick.
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It was like a moment, and it was like a flutter of her kicks. And I thought, oh, it's real. It happened. We're a team. We're doing this together. And it made me even more happy. And every time I got more happy and excited, I would feel more ecstatic, overwhelming joy. I can honestly say I've never experienced such ecstatic joy as in labor. And I know now that it was a rush of endorphins and a rush of oxytocin. And those endorphins not only cause you this joy,
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block the pain receptors in your uterus. I was so happy. I literally couldn't contain it, even in active labor. Everything that happened was like an awe-inspiring moment to me. And so I remember as she was coming down, my doula said, if you want to, you can push, because I could feel her head shift a little bit. And my doula said, if you want to hold your breath and push, and actively push, you can do that.
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You can just take a big breath and hold it and then push out. And so at that point, I thought, well, why not? I'll try it. We had been pushing about 40, probably 30 minutes, where my body was bearing down and I was grunting, kind of grunting her out. And I thought, OK, sure. I'll give it a shot. So at the next contraction, I held my breath and pushed. And I felt her literally inside me just shift, like that, down. I thought, well, that was effective. OK. And so I did it.
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It only took two or three pushes where I actively pushed before her head emerged. And I felt the ring of fire where the perineum is stretching to the fullest diameter around the baby's head. And it feels like fire or burning. But it was only for a few moments. But I do remember that part very well. That part was definitely not pain free. And so the head came out.
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And then one more push and the body was out. So in total, I was pushing about 45 minutes. And for a first time mom, that's really on the short side, especially for the fact that I only actively pushed two or three times. All the rest of it, she labored down. All but my body moved her down because you're actually, your vaginal birth canal has a rhythm like this. It's like a peristalsis, the same rhythm in your digestive system that moves food through your intestines.
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is a rhythm that your birth canal has, and it moves the baby down. So all those urges and surges that were happening involuntarily that I couldn't control was working to bring my baby down to the point that I could actually push her out and not hurt, not be exhausting or struggle. But I do remember those surges were so intense. And so I had no tearing with her, first time mom, no tearing.
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She came up out of the water and they put her immediately on my chest. And I just remember I was in heaven. I was like, I did it. Actually, that was the first thought I had. It wasn't like, oh, I'm so in love with you. It was like, I did it and it's over. And I did it. I was so happy. And so she was alert. We looked at each other's eyes. I was in the tub and they put blankets on me to keep her warm. And I eventually.
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you know, after a few minutes I got out and just held the baby. I remember even nursing her a little bit in that first hour, lying down on a mattress next to the tub. And it was so beautiful. I just felt this overwhelming joy, this overwhelming love. And it made me feel stronger than I ever thought I would be. I thought, if I can do this, I can do anything. And it worked. I was so happy that, like, everything I researched
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strived for and looked into and prayed for actually happened. And then I remember actually at one point this thought came to me, huh, before she, before her head came out while I was pushing, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, what time is it? And I asked, I opened my eyes because they'd been closed for the majority of the pushing. And I asked, what time is it? And my husband looked at the clock and he said, it's 4pm. Now,
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The significance of that is that we did a little homework exercise the night before, or a few days before, where we decided or we imagined our ideal birth. What is our dream birth? If we could have it any way we want, what would happen? We would give birth at night, during the day. We said we'd wake up in the morning and have contractions. The day would go on. The mid-resonant dealers would come, and she would be born at like four in the afternoon. And so Holy Spirit, when it was four p.m., said, what time is it?
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And and we looked at the clock. It's 4 p.m. She came out 45 minutes later Within the hour and then in our ideal birth scenario There were deer in the backyard because we typically have we see a lot of deer with the woods back there And so there were deer and it was beautiful and this whole like picture of life and nature And so I remember thinking after she was born like maybe 20 30 minutes later with her on my chest And I'm just relaxing. I thought huh. Where are the deer God like?
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you did everything else that we prayed for. Where's the deer?" And within 15 minutes, seven deer came into our backyard. And some of them were babies. And my doula said, I swear, they were nursing their babies in your backyard with no idea what was going on inside, that you actually had just delivered your baby. And I was nursing my new baby while seven deer walked in the backyard. And we were all like in awe. We just thought...
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This is some magical moment. It was like a celebration of life. And that's the way I picture it. That's the way I remember it. A celebration of life. So I pray that you get to have a pain-free birth, not just pain-free, but joyful, full of joy. If I could have chosen between having pain-free and full of joy, I would have chosen full of joy. Because even in the moments where it hurt, where it was
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so intense, I had to let go. And there are those moments. You will hit that wall. You will come to a place where you can either grip on and control, or you can surrender to the process of birth. And there were moments I had to surrender, but I wouldn't give up any of that joy for any pain that I experienced, for any pain that I did experience or intensity, the joy far superseded.
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the pain or the intensity of it. In fact, it made me feel like I could do anything. It made me feel like a superwoman afterwards. And so I pray that you not only have pain free, but you get challenged to go deeper than you've ever gone before, deeper into trusting your own body, into trusting God, into trusting your own baby, deeper into surrender of this process of birth, and deeper into knowing your own strength and power.
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Bless you guys.
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Thank you for listening to this episode of the Pain Free Birth podcast. If you were encouraged, it would mean so much if you left us a five-star review and shared this with your community. I'd love to connect with you on Instagram at PainFreeBirth. To learn more about the Pain Free Birth e-course, free resources, private coaching, and upcoming events, find out more at painfreebirth.com. See you next week.
